Six years ago, a casual email from a writing friend changed my life. “Hey, I heard through the grapevine a critique group near you is looking for a new member. Are you interested?”
I was interested. I inquired and found out this group was heavy on rules and expectations: 20 pages a month from each member; written as well as face-to-face critiques; a try out period; a set meeting at a set date with a set period of time between submitting and the meeting.
Such interesting questions can apply to so much of the moving on in life. I love that you left with such respect and on such good terms.
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It was a good experience, Mary, and we all do still keep in touch. I was lucky to have found them–the timing to join was perfect, so maybe the time to leave was perfect, too.
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I’ve had several groups, online and in person, that I loved. I know I would never have learned to write without them. Some of them fell apart as we finished our projects. I moved away from my last f2f group, and miss them. I now have to write faster than I wrote for any of these groups, but I use some of the members as excellent beta readers. (And they use me.) I still need my critters!
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Kaye, you are correct–critters are great! I have also been in several groups, with varying levels of success. This one was outstanding. I think some people are not made for groups, and that is a fine thing to discover about yourself. When one works, and you can keep them on as beta readers, lucky you!
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I left a group a while back because our lives were getting in the way of our meeting regularly and when we did meet, I didn’t feel supported by the group. Rather than fighting to keep it going, I let it die. I decided to find a more supportive group and moved on.
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Elizabeth, thank you for commenting. There are different reasons to leave a group. I think finding you can’t make the time may also be a way of saying you are not glued enough to the group to make the meetings your priority. I never would have dreamed of missing or asking to reschedule the first few years–I arranged my life around the meetings. When that became vice versa, it was a strong message. It sounds like you’ve found a group that is meeting what you need and seek. Good luck!
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Nice!
Sent from my iPad
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A thoughtful take, as always, on what could have been a difficult transition. Sounds like you did it for all the right reasons and in a graceful way. Your essay made me realize I have been with my own group for about six years. So far it is still working very well for me, and their critiques have improved my writing very much. And I’m starting to learn from them, keeping a couple of comments in my head as I write new material. But their critique is still fresh, there’s no homework, and I love following the other members’ stories and books as they develop, so I’m sticking with driving 45 minutes to Salem most Mondays.
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Edith, I have often thought a weekly group would work for me. Now that my writing has taken somewhat of a back seat to editing and teaching, I’m not sure I could manage. A weekly is the only type of group I have never tried, so who knows? I learned so much from my group–they were great at pointing out habits and the men a few times caught me in a “a guy would never say/do that” errors. The gender perspective was really helpful.
I’m glad your group works for you! Keep driving to Salem.
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I have quit a couple of writing groups, each for a different reason. The first was because of time constraints, but also because I started feeling as though I was putting more into it than I was getting out of it. The second was more difficult because it was an excellent group that I had only recently joined. They had an opening, and three of us were attending on a “trial basis.” But after a few weeks I removed myself from consideration. It was a genre-specific group, and although I had started a story that was well-received, I didn’t think it was the story (or genre) I would continue to work on. Tough decision though–they were great.
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